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Nice
Guys, Inc. - A website devoted to advice for the Nice Guy!
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How To Break Up With Your
Girlfriend
By Ryan
Randolph
So you started a relationship with a cute, sweet
girl who turned out to be an emotional wreck and possibly mentally insane.
No problem, the hardest part is breaking up...err, actually it might be staying
broke up, but first things first. Realize that any relationship you are in
should improve both people's lives, and in this case focus on how your life
currently is compared to how you would like it to be. If your life is not
going the way you want it to, then follow these seven steps to break up with
your girlfriend:
1. Take a break from each other - Tell
your girlfriend you're taking some time alone (and give her a definite day
when you will be done). Keep it to about a week or two at the most, since
at this point in the relationship things are probably rocky and you don't
want to draw out the pain too long. It is crucial that you not see her or
speak to her at all (or as little as possible). The reason you want to be
completely away from her is so that your mind and body can clear the emotions
which are clouding your reasoning and judgment. She will probably fight
with you about this saying that 'she really needs you right now', or try
to put some other guilt trip on you, but you must be firm and stand your
ground.
2. Make a decision - Once your head is
cleared and you've taken a step back from your situation, figure out what
is best for you. Decide who and what you believe and be brutally honest
with what kind of person your girlfriend really is. Does she lie? Have you
suspected her of cheating? Can you trust her? Are you counting on her to
change even though she has given you signs that she doesn't want to? Do you
see a future with this woman and even the possibility that she could be
the mother of your kids? Are you counting on the future to be different
than what it is now (even though it will most likely be more of the same).
Do you have ulterior motives for keeping this relationship alive (such as
satisfying your family or friends, you don't think you will be able to find
anyone else, etc)? Ask yourself, how would a real man act in this situation?
Don't stay in a relationship just because you have 'history', it may be bad
history and you want to end that as soon as possible. |
 |
How
to Win Back Their
Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
22 FREE Breakup &
Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
for free! |
Broken
Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru. |
Did
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again! |
Win
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
forever more! |
|
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| 3. Make a plan - If you've decided
to end it, then you must figure out the implications when you break the news.
Does she have possession of anything of yours that is valuable such as expensive
electronics, memorabilia etc? Are the both of you in any joint contracts
or ownership agreements such as real estate loans, car payments, credit cards,
etc? Figure out a way that you can get out of any agreements and get your
stuff back safely in case she flips out and goes on a rampage (such
as having a mutual friend get your stuff while she is gone, etc).
4. Tell her your decision - Communicate
to her in person exactly how you feel and what you've decided. Remember,
the decision is over so do not ask, beg, or plead but tell her in a mature
manner that is not spiteful, immature, or childish. Be prepared for threats
against you or herself. Do not cave under the pressure; she will probably
try to get you to reconsider any way possible. Expect tears. If she is seriously
suicidal (and not just trying to manipulate you), then you should arrange
for her friends to be nearby when you break the news and possibly some medical
help as well.
5. Hold your ground - Forever. Do not
doubt yourself or be swayed, the decision is final. Realize that people can
change, but the chances are very small and any changes she may make
in the future are most likely just surface changes not personal
transformation.
6. Avoid her completely - Do not email,
speak, or see her until you are comfortable with the idea of her having sex
with someone else, then you can talk to her again (but with extreme
caution and very limited). Remember, after you break up, it is crucial for
your emotional connections to be severed completely so you can be truly free
from her (this can take months or sometimes even years).
7. Be a man about it - If you decide to
be ‘friends’ with her, be cordial and mature about it. Don't bring
up old issues but treat her as a new guy friend. Don't be needy or go out
of your way to help her, and especially don’t fall into mind games.
If she tries to make you jealous, hit on you, or bring up old issues, stop
her immediately and remind her you are only friends and if she keeps it up
you are outta there!
Back
Coming soon: How to get over your ex
and stay broken up.
Ryan Randolph is the author the blog
"Dewussified: The Path to Masculine Power" where he dives into psychology,
genetics, social conditioning, sprituality, belief systems and other aspects
of male-female interactions. The blog is found at
www.dewussified.com |
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Win Boyfriend
Back
How
to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
- By using these basic, down-to-earth
strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship
back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper
and more fulfilling.
| Getting
To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's
Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men
Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I
Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
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