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A Blueprint for Finding a
Partner
By Janet
Bush
Dear Doctor Single,
This is a more general question than most, but
maybe the answer will help people other than just myself. After reading lots
of the articles on doctorsingle.com I think I’m ready to take the plunge
and start dating again (over a year after a bad breakup). Can you summarize
what the most important steps are to take now that I’m in the dating
mindset again?
Thanks,
A bit nervous in Chicago
Dear ‘A bit nervous in Chicago’,
Congratulations on taking things slow and not
jumping into a rebound relationship to try to avoid dealing with anger, hurt,
and many other emotions that you were likely experiencing since your breakup.
That’s the first bit of advice. And you’ve already done that!
The next point is to be clear about your dating
goals: are you looking for a casual friend or two to hang out with and just
have fun with (‘no strings attached’) or is your purpose in dating
to find someone with whom you can build a long-term relationship and possibly
even marry? This question is important and should really be decided on upfront.
And, you should be honest about your intentions with those you date to avoid
hurt and confusion. Earlier is always better than later to have this kind
of candid talk. (And, believe what those you date tell you are their intentions,
as well. Don’t think you’ll be the one to change a
'commitment-phobe’s mind! This is probably more fantasy than
reality.) |
 |
How
to Win Back Their
Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
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Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
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She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again! |
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Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
forever more! |
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| If your goal is to find a lifelong partner,
choose with your head and be aware of the seduction of becoming awash in
‘lust hormones’ that inevitably diminish in a few months! Make
sure that there’s at least a decent chance that you and your love interest
can create a happy future together based on a foundation of love, common
interests, goals, and core beliefs. It helps to make a list of criteria that
are important to you before you get sucked into what may turn out to be a
disastrous short term liaison with someone not very compatible with you.
This will help you stay connected to your rational side when you find yourself
attracted physically to someone out of the blue and can serve as a red –
or at least amber! - light before things get out of hand.
Next, use the best means available to meet a
potential partner. If you’re into sailing, consider joining a sailing
club. If you’re into cooking, consider taking a few gourmet or ethnic
cooking classes. Whatever your interests are, you’ll greatly increase
the odds of meeting someone who is truly compatible with you if you spread
your wings to increase the ‘eligibility net’. If you sign up for
an online dating service (which is often a good idea), pay close attention
to written profiles of potential dates and avoid getting caught up in just
communicating with those whose photos you find most attractive (although
physical attraction is important, as well).
And, finally, realize that you may meet and date
many potential partners before the right person for you (and them!) comes
along. That’s what dating is all about! Don’t be discouraged if
this takes more time than you think it should. You’ll be better off
in the long run!
Hope this helps,
Doctor Single
Back
For free access to hundreds of interesting
and thought provoking articles on dating, love and relationships log onto
http://www.DoctorSingle.com
today, your portal to a new way of thinking about love and relationships
aimed at professional singles. |
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Win Boyfriend
Back
How
to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
- By using these basic, down-to-earth
strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship
back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper
and more fulfilling.
| Getting
To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's
Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men
Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I
Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
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