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Mend Your Broken Heart
By Dinorah
Blackman
By the time I was 25, my heart had already been
broken three times. And it took me a lot longer to get over the second heartbreak
than I care to admit. Recently I read that sometimes it can take a woman
up to seven years to heal from a broken heart. I couldn’t believe it!
I now realize that what I had been through was not at all uncommon. Maybe
if I had read that article back then, I wouldn’t have become so frustrated
with my slow process.
The truth is that while there are many things
you can do to help yourself get over the situation, pretending to be fine
when you’re not is hardly a reasonable strategy. I have found that it
makes no sense to try to fool yourself. Admit that you’re hurting, but
be encouraged that it’s true what they say: time heals all wounds. So
don’t just sit around and moan and stuff yourself with ice cream. Learn
from that heartbreak and become stronger because of it.
1. Write your ex a letter. Writing helps you
to put your thoughts into perspective. Express exactly how you feel and how
you wish things had turned out differently. You don’t need to actually
give the person the letter. You’re writing to begin your healing process.
Once you’re finished, read it over to verify that it articulates your
exact feelings, and then destroy it.
2. Forgive. The decision to forgive is not so
the other person can be freed of his responsibility. You’re forgiving
so you can move on. I know it hurts and I know you deserved to be treated
better, but holding a grudge isn’t going to make you feel well again.
Once you have made up your mind to forgive, say it out loud to yourself.
“______________, I forgive you for breaking my heart.” |
 |
How
to Win Back Their
Attraction!
ATTRACTION IS EVERYTHING! Here's what to do when you think they are no longer
attracted to you
22 FREE Breakup &
Relationship eBooks
Join our community and get
our ebooks for free! Learn how to stop your breakup and win your ex back
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Broken
Heart?
Find out how to mend your brokenheart caused by a broken relationship. Advice
from The Breakup Guru. |
Did
She Dump You?
Are you a nice guy and still got dumped for a jerk? Learn how to be the bastard
women want, and never get dumped again! |
Win
Your Ex Back!
Find out how to win your ex back and keep them hopelessly attached to you
forever more! |
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| 3. Let it go. Remember this ancient Chinese
Proverb? If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's
yours. If it doesn't, it never was. We do not possess anything in this world,
least of all other people. We only imagine that we do. These simple phrases
contain a world of truth. How do you let go? It’s not that suddenly
you no longer think about the person. It’s simply that you step away
and give them space, no matter how much it hurts. This lesson I learned the
hard way. When my second boyfriend dumped me I thought he needed to see and
hear more of me so I was constantly in his hair. As a result I made him separate
himself from me even further, which is exactly what I didn’t want.
4. Learn from it. What on earth can you learn
from a break-up? You’d be surprised. You can learn a lot about yourself,
about the way in which you react to rejection, and if you’re completely
honest, you might be able to find out if there’s anything in your character
that might cause people to shun you. Also, figure out if that person really
possessed the traits that you are looking for in a life partner. If your
answer is negative you might want to re-evaluate your screening process.
5. Hold on to the good. A lot of women think
that by constantly remembering all the character flaws and shortcomings of
the ex, the break-up will be more tolerable. I strongly disagree. Instead
of focusing on all that went wrong, make memories of the good times. It’s
not going to change the fact that you’re no longer together, but it
will keep you from harbouring unhealthy feelings of resentment, anger and
sourness.
6. Watch your tongue. Calling up your friends
to scandalize your former lover is never a good idea. First, because it’s
incredibly childish; second, because it just proves how bitter you still
are, and third, because it makes you look bad. A former co-worker once told
me that her husband had the bad habit of calling her stupid. One day she
answered back: “and you’re even more stupid because you knew I
was stupid and you married me anyway.” He never called her stupid again.
Got it? If you go around badmouthing your ex, you make yourself look
bad.
There is no magic potion to mend your broken
heart. Only time will tell. But don’t just sit there and live in the
past. Face each new day knowing well that this too shall pass.
Back
Dinorah Blackman-Williams' books may be
previewed and purchased at
http://www.lulu.com/blackman |
|
Win Boyfriend
Back
How
to Get Your Ex-Boyfriend Back
- By using these basic, down-to-earth
strategies, anyone can get an ex-boyfriend back and turn a broken relationship
back into a loving, lasting one - or make their current relationships deeper
and more fulfilling.
| Getting
To Commitment
Mr. Steven Carter's great insights into
relationship dynamics are presented here in an easy-to-understand language,
and without overdoing the psychological perspectives. Many commitment questions
are answered here in this book. A must read for anyone afflicted with commitment
issues or involved with someone who is.
|
| He's
Scared, She's Scared
Available for the first time in paperback,
this follow-up to the phenomenally successful
Men Who Can't Love tackles
the issue of commitmentphobia, that persistent obstacle to truly satisfying
contemporary relationships. Authors Stephen Carter and Julia Sokol explore
why modern men and women are torn between the desire for intimacy and the
equally intense need for independence. Drawing on numerous interviews and
real-life scenarios, and written with humor, insight, and the kind of wisdom
gained by personal experience,
He's
Scared, She's Scared offes guidance for all of us who want genuine,
sustained intimacy with our romantic partners.
|
| Men
Who Can't Love
This book saved me from going crazy and
from wasting any more of my precious time with a man who is a consumate
commitmentphobic. I got this book after a therapist friend of mine said that
all my complaining and moaning about my commitmentphobic boyfriend sounded
just like the people in this book she'd read -
"Men
Who Can't Love". I got on line and nabbed a copy. What
a life saver! My jaw dropped as I read this book because it describes the
behaviors of commitmentphobics precisely as I have been experiencing my
boyfriend's behavior. It's so true that the more I pressed him for answers
while trying to understand his avoidant behaviors, the more he withdrew from
me. "I don't wanna talk about it" is his mantra. All his behaviors were laid
out like his biography in this book. It was shocking and revealing at the
same time.
|
| I
Hate You, Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
This is a
great book for an inside look at Borderline Personality Disorder. If you
have a person with BPD in life this book is a must have. If you have BPD
it will help you understand that some of your behaviors that seem unusual
to other are understandable and can be explained and
treated. |
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